Leaving the fear...

Finally, at last, the hinges rotate.

The anticipation is too much to take.

My palms are sweaty; heart is racing.

Before I go on, I notice I'm pacing.

For years I have longed to pass on through,

And yet here I am, unsure what to do.

Do I go in and continue? Do I stay and wait?

What is it truly; I anticipate?

Why do I see it there, before the door?

The fear it lingered there, I can't ignore.

The door is open and yet I pause.

I try to move forward, but can't find the cause.

Have I lost my way, or is it temporarily hidden?

Do I doubt so much that happiness is forbidden?

At long last I take a step, then quickly another.

I can't stop now; I fear I'll fall over.

I won't turn back and always wonder why.

I'm going through now, at least I can say, "I try."

I have always had opportunities, but I always allowed my chances to pass me by because I was to afraid to give it a go. I know I'd be a different person if I would have allowed myself to succeed. Am I alone, or does anyone else feel this way a lot of times?

Once lost

I fell a lot when I was younger, but the worst fall I ever had was falling from GOD. It wasn't even a fall it was more like a tumble into snow that kept building until I almost hit the bottom which was covered with jagged rocks. I'm so thankful I'm no longer in that place and that I'm no longer that person.

I played a game and I got bit

And most of me was lost

I found myself deep inside a pit

And there was an oh so high cost

Deep within the hole I dwell

Waiting for someone to find me

How long I waited in that hell

Please constantly I plea

But from that darkened land I did see

A light shining in the distance

And GOD when I was closer to He 

The lower my resistance

Higher now my head is raised

Because by his design

Jesus was slain and then was raised

And now he says, "He's mine!"

It took so much for me to admit I was wrong on almost all (if not all) levels. I hated being in that dark place.

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Alone

I know this next post is a little dark, but I felt like I needed to write it. I want to be as honest as possible in this blog and that includes all emotions I have had, past present and future. I've grown up like this and I hope I was able to convey how I felt when I was younger not too long ago and I always felt that the "Christians" would give me a kind word. Now that I am a Christian I try hard to not come complacent and allow people to dwell in corners alone.

Hidden in a corner bare

There sit a child young and scared

Says to the world, "I don't care!"

But don't believe the things he aired

Cause when you look into his eyes

You can see through the simple disguise

And know in his heart of hearts it's a lie

But still he says it to deny

The fact that he still wants to cry

And hopes and prays that someone pry

So silently still he will stay

And hope that things will end okay

Only GOD can be the key

To help him to become free

But who is there to teach him how

When satan is constantly on the prowl

A kind word he's waiting for

Instead you just shut the door

So he sits and contemplates 

He takes it in, absorbs the hates

-VMH

Can you relate? How did you overcome it, or are you still there?

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