Off the shelf?

Back and forth I constantly go with ideas, hopes and queries, but very few of them do I put so much time and effort into them. The majority don't get a day's worth of thoughts, some get a day, while still others get a few days, but rarely is the better part of a year given time, effort, and heart.

I "shelved" an idea that I had been working on for several months. I started it in January, and decided back in July that perhaps I wasn't ready to release it. I have always played TCGs (trading card games) and I have always played turn-based RPGs. These game types are among my favorite and they both hold places in my heart. I decided I wanted to make a TCG that was similar to a turn-based RPG, more-so than any that are out there currently. I've added some of my favorite mechanics to the game and the best art I can create (not that great mind you as I'm more of a writer than an artist). I really enjoyed making the game and I really enjoyed putting time into it and believed in it, but still I decided it wasn't near ready.

My "coming to reality" moment came from my Uncle, as I have stated in a previous post, and it really slammed me to the ground. I'm not that great and I don't have a place among the giants of the TCG industry.

Why not? This is something I've just decided to ask myself and I couldn't find a suitable answer. Sure the art isn't the greatest, although there are a few that I'm very proud of, and I really do enjoy the mechanics, even if no one else does, but why can't I at the very least try? I've run out of excuses. I have always said, "Excuses are like butts, everyone has them and they all stink," but did I ever really believe that? At the end of the excuses all I had was my goal, and a passion.

So, what's next? I'm taking it off the shelf and I'm pushing forward. I won't be paralyzed by "what ifs" and instead mobilized by "what are". I am over 80% complete, and I am working diligently on something that I am really passionate about. Even if I am 100% wrong, and will be 100% in love with my completed work, and you know what? That's good enough for me. I want to reach my excellence.

The window...

I peer into the window,
And through I see the soul.
I see a grassy meadow,
The sun is hung down low.
Clouds are gathered all round,
The shadows they do cast.
The rain already on the ground,
The storm's already past.
The sun, perhaps, isn't down low,
But only just coming up.
The sun is making it's way slow,
Your day is looking up.
I look away from the window,
Look up and I see you.
-  VMH

The eyes tell us so much, and while our face hides what we are going through the eyes struggle with the lie. Have you ever hurt? Have you ever put on a face only to have your eyes tell on you? I have, for a long time I hid my face in shame, then, after several years, I started to act tough an indomitable, but it was just a facade. I was hurt and in pain and wanted to tell someone, but was too afraid that I would be judged by my peers, family and friends. It was a tough time for me, but I made it through and perhaps you didn't go through the same struggles as I did, but I know you had some too. I'm here to tell you that they do get better and that they really do make you that much stronger! Don't give up and give in, but push through and be that much stronger.