That's not fair...

I must admit, although I fight it, I still sometimes climb the entitlement ladder, and that frustrates me. I cannot deny that I sometimes feel like I deserve it and I often think, "I am good enough," or "strong enough," or "smart enough, why can I have or do that!?" And in outrage I feel myself fall into envy.

Why do I deserve it? As a Christian, I know that I deserve death and nothing, but because Christ died on the cross for our sins, I don't get what I deserve, but he instead took them upon himself. I ponder this and it alleviates mich if my self loathing and entitlement.

I go on and remember that no where in the bible does it say I will have a rich life full of everything I want, but instead it shows that there will be a constant struggle, see the Old Testament and Jesus' death. Struggle with what? Well, the world. 

I climb that ladder, but as I grip the rungs,   I know that I have more than I deserve and I am thankful for all I do have. It doesn't mean it isn't still a struggle every now and again, but it does mean that I can more easily overcome it.

But why would I not want to have this mindset? It's a poison. A poison that'll quell your enthusiasm and soggy your resolve. It'll cause you to only focus on yourself with "me, me, me, and I want, I want, I want, and now, now, now" and only kids cry, whine, and act like that, and I am an adult that should know how to delay those childish behaviors, wants, and desires. I have to grow up, and put this with other childish thinking, like blowing up.